If there is one thing I could say about today, it’s that it is indeed today. Beyond that, I’ve got nothing. I’m feeling disconnected, but know it will pass, or at least the overwhelming feeling of it will. Life is the ultimate distraction from our selves, and I think that is a very good thing. Getting too caught up in yourself is never helpful – it’s kind of like staring at a marbled floor. If you look at it long enough, shapes form and everything around you disappears, until you’ve born a painting with your imagination. Your imagination fills in the blanks, and I don’t know about you, but when I look at a marbled floor, the shapes that show themselves are unsettling. Sometimes a cartoonish character appears, but it’s always menacing. Much like focusing on a marbled floor brings monsters to life, focusing on yourself tends to bring attention only to flaws. Just like monsters, flaws love company.
It has been a long week, and I’m looking for challenges (perhaps a part-time job to learn some new skills and make extra cash?). The week had a rough start, health-wise, but yesterday was a success, and today seems to be headed in that direction. I’ve finally cleared out my fridge and it is mostly empty, which I’ll admit is my comfort zone. Every time I buy an abundance of fresh foods, I can never keep up and they spoil before I get to them. My favorite way to eat involves very little variety: rice, frozen veggies, fresh fruits, proteins, and oatmeal. Give me those and a pair of weights and watch my mood, well, let’s just say I go from deathly still swamp mud to bubbling with the promise of life below.
I did a barre class on Daily Burn today and found that to be pretty fun, but I’m feeling a bit lost without my structured program. I think I will go back to my personal program which is heavily influenced (nearly copied) by the Strong Curves program. Just for the fun of it, I will probably continue to throw in a barre or Pilates class twice a week. For breakfast, I was able to salvage some grapes that are about to get all soft and gross.
Despite the melancholy of this post, I can, with full honesty, say that I’m looking forward to this weekend. It is supposed to storm both days, and I’m imagining lots of cat cuddling time. Possibly a trip to my parent’s cabin if they aren’t busy and I can talk them into it. I will take some pictures if I see anything interesting.